I started a blog with the same title a little over a week ago but wasn’t feeling like it was ready to be a post. Here I am experiencing what feels like my first Ramzan though my memories of this month stretch like the Arabian sea along the Karachi coast.
As a child my first memory of Ramzan is being in the car with my parents before Iftar, ducking in the backseat while I sipped a can of Vimto (a soda) from a straw. I also vaguely remember keeping my first roza and getting a barbie doll as a gift 🙂
This is the one month of the year it feels as if everyone in my family is so full of love and peace – and it continues – the patience, the strength, and the love with the countless blessings God has showered on us. Just today after feasting on iftar I realized how lucky I am to live the life I live. The comforts, the abundance, and most importantly all the people who love unconditionally.
I read that Ramzan is there for us to learn patience, gratitude, and giving up. Never in my life have I made a conscious effort to give up anything and here I am 10 days into Ramzan where I spend 14 hours of my day without food and water, praying five times a day to this mysterious beautiful energy. And I feel like I’m floating, between the demands of my external and internal life.
I spent 20 minutes in reclined bound angle pose today after my yoga practice, with gemstones placed on my sacral, third eye and crown chakra. I slipped into a different state of mind, where the brain waves are just above what they are when we sleep. And I had a tiny awareness of random thoughts that floated through my body and mind, and I felt my soul rest in the moment. Where there was no past or future, and in some ways no present. I could feel a part of me working with those random thoughts, letting them come and go on their own, with the awareness to release negative thoughts.
I am what I am today only because this beautiful energy protects me, keeps me going and moving towards the straight path. I feel so grateful that I was guided here and that I chose my soul to have this journey of learning. Last Ramzan I felt lost from myself, from life, and from everyone. I didn’t have an anchor within myself and now I feel like I’m putting some roots down from my heart into my life and in the lives around me.
Words of wisdom from Shaikh Zawia Ebrahim’s Millenium Discourses stay with me…”Successful relationship does not require two. In fact, it requires no more than one: a benevolent self. If you want something from someone else, that person’s ability to withhold what you want gives that person power over you. You become manipulable.” I am trying to embody this beautiful formula of relationships in my life, where all the change I want to see starts from within.
(If you would like to read more http://sites.google.com/site/wwwzawiaebrahim/themilleniumdiscourses)
May God bless you with peace, joy, and love in this beautiful reflective month of Ramzan. When I sit with my breath and conquer my worldly illusions, the straight path seems clear to me, it is one where I have a relationship with God that is honest, beautiful and whole.