the mornings are something else now. before they were a time to indulge in as much sleep as I could, pressing the snooze button until i would finally drag myself into the shower and start my day. now, though i still press the snooze button once sometimes twice, i’m waking up for a different kind of “work”.
my personal practice is evolving and i’m evolving with it. Today i wondered as I got my toe to point in bird of paradise, why is that these small accomplishments feel like exhilarating victories? the days seem like one magical drama, where my heart has started to become the witness to my life.
initially when i started my personal practice, it was irregular and on the days that I didn’t have a yoga class to attend. sometimes it was in the morning, sometimes in the evening. Usually inside. and some days with a friend at a park near my house. I would generally do a routine that I had learned in a yoga class that was pretty intense and covered all the basic postures.
then Yandara happened. Every morning we would start our practice with the same warm up and flow. But there was something different this time – over the 3 weeks we were encouraged to listen to our bodies, listen to our heart, connect to it and make our yoga practice a dance. and it feels as if i’m molecularly different because of following those simple yet difficult rules. everyday begins with the intention to serve, dedicate and practice. it is a process of self discovery that is linked with a recognition of the power of nature, the universe, and all the energies that surround us. in some ways i feel like a warrior, training, disciplined, appreciating the structure that my personal practice has brought into my life. and while i focus with warrior energy, there are moments when i stop to feel the sensations in my body and i feel the opening in my heart. the very raw and emotional parts of me start to pulse. and at least for those moments i’m able to recognize them, accept them, and express truth from deep within my soul.
now every morning even if I can’t devote my usual 2 hours, I will not skip on my personal practice or meditation, both outside in the garden with all of natures creepy crawlies. its become more than a time for me to practice my asanas (poses). its a time where i get to be myself with a kind of freedom i don’t experience in any other activity except perhaps dancing. the movement becomes linked to my state of mind, and its hard to know what comes first. its the simplest expression of the complete integration of our body, mind and soul. yet not so simple to experience.
“Yoga, after all, is not an escape from life but a way of taking yourself into life’s pulsing heart. It will inevitably lead you to your own vulnerability, to your raw places. But vulnerability also opens the door to love, grace, and the deepest forms of healing. Your vulnerability, scary as it can be, is inseparable from your capacity for intimacy and creativity and love.
Here’s the caveat: The practice of opening to vulnerability is not for wimps. It’s an advanced practice, requiring strength, discernment, and boundaries—all qualities your yoga practice will give you, if you give it time.” – Sally Kempton (http://www.yogajournal.com/wisdom/2564)
and for this i’ve got all the time in the world!