Karachi Yogini

Yoga for Life!

the past is past January 26, 2011

Filed under: And the Journey begins...,spirituality,Uncategorized — yogini786 @ 8:20 pm

so many things happen all the time.  there is no such thing as an ordinary moment.  what connections we bring, what desires we pursue, what we say, eat, wear and think are part of an infinite journey within ourselves.

there are some conversations you can’t forget, some ideas that become a part of you like they were always within you.  my ex-supervisor, cherie, an older woman who sat an hour with me every week while i tried to learn how to support people through their challenges.  through conversation, body language, so many secrets uncovered and released into me.  I remember so clearly one day sitting in the office when she drew me a picture of sideways spiral.

she said we start moving in life, and things move forward and up.  we reach a place of fulfillment, the peak of the first mountain, and then very naturally we move down and so easily get caught up in the things that we thought had past.  somehow at our lowest, stuck in a space that darkness invades, we start to rub our eyes and squint as again we pick up to move, the mountain seems so much more daunting this time around.  but naturally we begin to move.

moving instinctively like to music, we climb the second spiral.  and again we reach a place, a-ha, this is it, this is where i was meant to be and looking back the spiral we just overcame seems so poetic, so poignant.

and then the road is clear ahead of you.  to move again, and this time though you know something.  that’s the truth i hold on most from the sideways spiral.  that once again things will feel like they are out of your control, that they are falling, disintegrating, and you are moving in that flow again.  but the next time you reach the valley, the bottomless curve of life’s suffering, you are one step ahead of when you were there last.

 

“poetry is not a luxury” – Audre Lorde January 19, 2011

Filed under: inspiring books,poetry,Uncategorized — yogini786 @ 12:21 pm

Oh Lorde, is it true what you say? That there are no new ideas but just new ways to feel them? That poetry is not a luxury?

I feel all the time

The idea to break free

From the traps around me

I watch myself

Give in

Take in

Stumble to find a compromise

Of what my truth is

To be able to feel

Uninhibitedly free

From my thoughts

From my fears

Of what it means to be a woman in my life

Can you help me feel

My poetry?

I dream of mountains and solitude

Of children and loving friends

of no chains on my feet

or ropes on my wrists

of no reins in my hands

holding another in

I dream of the impossible

I know

It is not here where I choose to be

It is only in my heart that I can feel

Free like

The space around the words of a poem

 

 

peaceful activism January 14, 2011

Filed under: And the Journey begins...,spirituality,Uncategorized — yogini786 @ 12:04 pm

for the last 2 weeks i have been working on preparing my gender studies course for 2nd year university students.  I’ve been reading about feminism, feminist history and inspirational writings by audre lorde…two in particular poetry is not a luxury and transformation of silence into action struck me.

for as far back as I can remember I have been a fighter.  I fought from a place that automatically knew that some things were not just and that i had to say something about it or I wouldn’t be in peace.  this natural instinct led me to all my pursuits- social work, social activism, counseling, meetings, writing, and a wonderful world of brilliant women who represented everything that is right in this world, while fighting against all the things that are intrinsically wrong.

but for over a year that part of me had become silent.  it had gotten tired of fighting.  and i had received a personal sentence that my fighting was “not good”.  was what got me into my mess – divorced, confused and insecure.   so when i found yoga, i stopped looking for the things that dissect us and instead focused on the bigger picture, the universality of love, peace and so simply the breath.  and for that i am eternally grateful, because now with that centre I realize I can fight from a much more profound place.  a place of peace and not a place of perpetually draining anger.  there was a time in my life where there was no line between where I started and where my anger ended.  it was all consuming and it ate me up.  and now that i have started to feel the familiar passion rise in me again, I can’t say that I have been wholeheartedly excited. in fact I thought I had buried it or conquered it.  or moved past it.  i’m still scared.  what does this mean? will i know (and my heart says yes i will) how to better balance the juggling act between peace and activism?

So now there is a fire inside of me again that I feel like I can’t stay silent any longer.  And this feeling has everything to do with my purpose, my natural self and not with “ego” or my “personality.  I am trying to find the words to say what I know someone needs to say about yoga in our modern world.  yoga has been co-opted, albeit by beautiful loving human beings that i truly respect and admire, but nonetheless it is another example of how knowledge is taken, re-packaged and then sold to the mainstream. yet i accept it unconditionally, and realize in some part that perhaps why I have to be part of this conversation.

the intellectual academic in me is tempted to dissect yoga in this post.  to point out how the yoga movement is limited and how it is not inclusive of so many living realities – race, gender, class, ethnicity, religion, ability, sexuality.  how yoga seems to be entrenched in a permanent patriarchy though it is practiced by more women than in men in the current context.  how in so many ways we don’t even know what yoga is or what it was supposed to be.  and yet because it is simplified, because it is movement and breath, its impact has the potential to dramatically alter the lives of all kinds of people. yoga triggers all the questions about ownership, knowledge production, globalization, capitalism, that in some ways I wanted to believe I could escape.  but ultimately in anything we do, if we are conscious, we see, feel and respond accordingly.

so today i started with a simple step, picking up the phone and connecting to others in my community who also teach yoga.  to not just write on a virtual page but to move, to perhaps even incite when i can the parts of us that make us uncomfortable enough to act, to change, and to inspire.

 

wednesday January 5, 2011

Filed under: poetry,Uncategorized — yogini786 @ 9:30 pm

fishing for a baby elephant

cat watching yoga

i’m upside down

concentrating on the tip of my nose

under the sprinkled shade

of an ancient tree

mud between my toes

life flowing through my breathe

i watch

wait

and listen