so many things happen all the time. there is no such thing as an ordinary moment. what connections we bring, what desires we pursue, what we say, eat, wear and think are part of an infinite journey within ourselves.
there are some conversations you can’t forget, some ideas that become a part of you like they were always within you. my ex-supervisor, cherie, an older woman who sat an hour with me every week while i tried to learn how to support people through their challenges. through conversation, body language, so many secrets uncovered and released into me. I remember so clearly one day sitting in the office when she drew me a picture of sideways spiral.
she said we start moving in life, and things move forward and up. we reach a place of fulfillment, the peak of the first mountain, and then very naturally we move down and so easily get caught up in the things that we thought had past. somehow at our lowest, stuck in a space that darkness invades, we start to rub our eyes and squint as again we pick up to move, the mountain seems so much more daunting this time around. but naturally we begin to move.
moving instinctively like to music, we climb the second spiral. and again we reach a place, a-ha, this is it, this is where i was meant to be and looking back the spiral we just overcame seems so poetic, so poignant.
and then the road is clear ahead of you. to move again, and this time though you know something. that’s the truth i hold on most from the sideways spiral. that once again things will feel like they are out of your control, that they are falling, disintegrating, and you are moving in that flow again. but the next time you reach the valley, the bottomless curve of life’s suffering, you are one step ahead of when you were there last.