So its a number that for years while you’re in your teens, in your twenties, which looms in front of you: 30. After 30 it seems like that everything will be different. maybe you’ll grow an extra toe, start complaining about body aches, and need a routine to stay alert and awake.
so granted i’ve been 30 for 24 hours and 9 minutes exactly as I start this blog, I already feel like i have some things figured out now that I didn’t just a few months a go. Leading up to 30, the anticipation building, the reflection of a decade settling in. 29. wow. what a year. at times i was a 21 year old doing absolutely crazy things, and other times I was as ancient as this multi-verse, meditating on the mountains.
most overwhelmingly, I feel, thank god I’m 30. thank god that I’ve made it so far and survived a decade of university, work, bad boyfriends, strange friendships, intense crazy partying, madness, rage, family dysfunction, and so so much more. and yet i’ve also survived a decade of intense love, friendship, gratitude, rebirth, transformation, and joy. and its ended on a note that is as perfect as the morning song of the birds in my garden.
what i look forward to most is the freshness of turning the dial back to zero. “No Baggage” status in my 30’s, leaving all the stuff I don’t need behind, and taking with me all that is good, loving and necessary (including some of the hard life lessons).
some wisdom i take with me to my 30’s:
that there is no way to be anything but yourself. the sooner you embrace it, the sooner you can bring into light the parts of you that you are least willing to confront the better life will taste, feel, smell, look and sound. and in the journey to being yourself, its good to remember what a friend told me recently, “Aisha (substitute your own name), you are one of the humans too.” 🙂
love and forgive. love and forgive. love and forgive. even it feels like forgiveness will never come. even if it feels like love will never be born again. keep on trying, because one day, without expecting it, it will happen and you will never be the same again.
live from the heart. so many thoughts, so many decisions, so many contradictions, so many paths ending in dead-ends. but the path of the heart, even when it leads you down a difficult road, you will always be able to make peace with your decisions.
always try to keep your heart and intentions pure. sleeping at night is a luxury, and a necessity, that can be vanquished if you deliberately hurt, manipulate or disrespect yourself and others. at the same end, don’t stay a victim if someone has hurt you. accept what’s happened and let that person be your teacher. replaying our own stories of how we were let down also keeps us up at night. (refer to love and forgive)
nothing lasts forever. everything is changing always. when in good times or in bad times, remember that “now its like this”. in good times, remind yourself so that you can appreciate every delicious moment of joy and happiness. and in bad times, remind yourself, not so you can deny what’s happening, but accept that it won’t be that way forever.
there’s a beautiful new song der lagi lekin (it’s taken me time but…) whose opening lines have been swimming in my head. maybe 30 is not so late to realize some essential ingredients to good living. excited for what’s in store for hopefully another decade of living, learning, and being foolish and wise all at once. much love to all of you for your support, love, and friendships.
Der lagi lekin maine ab hai jeena seekh liya
Jaise bhi ho’n din maine ab hai jeena seekh liya
Ab maine ye jaana hai, khushi hai kya, gham kya..
Dono hi, do pal ki hai ruttein
Na yeh thehre na rukein
Zindagi do rangon se bane
Ab roothe, ab mane
Yehi toh hai, yehi toh hai, yahaan
It took time, but I learnt to live,
however be the days, I have learnt to live,
now I have known this, what’s happiness and what’s sorrow
both are weathers of two moments
neither they wait nor stay
life gets made of two colors,
now angry, now placated,
this, this is here..