“It isn’t what happens to us that causes us to suffer; it’s what we say to ourselves about what happens.” -Pema Chodron
Memories are funny. as is the past. It somehow stays alive in our minds. though everything may be different, sometimes it feels as if it is right here, next to you.
At first it was hard to talk about my past. Then it became hard to dis-identify with it. At one point I realized that I couldn’t begin my story always with pain. That enough time had passed and I had in fact moved on to being new, fresh.
simple. keep things simple. I return over and over again to that. learning lessons every moment I sometimes get tired of watching for meaning. I get tired of trying to understand why everything is the way it is.
Reading posts on the wonderful site, TinyBuddha.com, to fill my saturday morning (and procrastinate from working!) I am amazed how without “knowing” I knew how to survive. and i’m starting to suspect it was because for once, I was too tired to try to “know” everything, too confused to figure anything out or anyone out, too lost to have any road map planned out ahead of me.
And so without trying I felt the joy of a fried egg and home-made paratha on the weekend. or the sun’s bright rays on my face even on a so-called “winter” day in Karachi. I loved friends whose words would show up in my email inbox, that they love me, think of me, even though I may not be ready to write or talk to them just yet.
and everyday now when i’m tempted to try too much, or work too hard, I’m reminded how those simple moments of joy let me live again. let me live again to share, love, and be.
“Practice random beauty and senseless acts of love.” ~Unknown