Karachi Yogini

Yoga for Life!

Al-Ghaffar- the.forgiver.the.absolver October 15, 2011

pg 39-40 from the Sufi Book of Life. – Neil Douglas-Klotz

“What, then, is the solution to the pain we feel from our relationships with others? the twentieth-century Sufi Inayat Khan had two answers: First, there is no solution. Second, develop your heart, which means to the Sufi not merely the emotions, but a combination of feeling and intelligence that can illuminate life more clearly.”

“the heart sleeps until it is awakened to life by a blow. It is as a rock, and the hidden fire flashes out when struck by another rock.”

“You can have all good things — wealth, friends, kindness, love to give and love to receive — once you have learned not to be blinded by them; learned to escape from disappointment and from repugnance at the idea that things are not as you want them to be.”

“The quality of forgiveness that burns up all things except beauty is the quality of love.”

***

The thought occurred to me a few days a go, that loss is inevitable in life, but love is in fact never lost.  the conditions under which love can thrive may disappear, or the person who sparked that feeling in you may be separated from you, but the love flowing in the river where you soaked your feet continues to flow, despite loss, change and impermanence.  and when I read Sufi Inayat Khans simple claim today, that, no there is no solution to the pain that relationships bring us, it made me smile.  Smile because it’s true I’ve found no solution yet, and sometimes I want to find it so badly in the form of another person, or in a feeling that I crave, or the things I think need to change about me or another person so that the relationship will stop being a source of pain!  yet, if there is no solution, but just processing, experiencing, then all relationships will bring with them pain and love.  and the more intense the pain, reminds me the depth from which I must love that person (and how deeply I am loved as well), and how lucky I am that my heart was (can be) that open, be it in the past, present or again one day in the future.

 

watch. October 9, 2011

Filed under: poetry,spirituality — yogini786 @ 7:19 pm

Oct 8 2011 11:43 pm

Watch.

 

Watch yourself.

Watching yourself.

 

When you don’t

Know

What

It is

That is

Happening.

Stop

And look.

 

 

When you don’t

Understand

The beat

That is

Jumping

Here

And there.

Breathe

And

Listen.

 

 

When you try

So hard

That you forget

Why you’re

Doing

What you’re

Doing.

Be still

And

Let go.

 

When you don’t know

What you can’t know

And you

Still want to know.

Pray

And

Be healed.

 

 

What answers

Will satisfy?

What tears

Will end up dry?

What you

And I

Don’t know

Today,

How will we know

Thinking about

Tomorrow?

 

Friday parable. October 7, 2011

Filed under: inspiring books,Islam/Sufism,spirituality,Uncategorized — yogini786 @ 2:47 pm

This is from Neil Douglas-Klotz’s book, The Sufi Book of Life.

“Once upon a time, Mullah Nasruddin was invited to speak at the mosque in a particular village at Friday community prayers. This is normally the only time when there might be a sermon or talk, since everyone would be gathered. The village that invited Mullah was widely known as the largest collection of foolish people in the region. They sent a delegation to Mullah: ‘O Mullah, wisest of the wise, we know that we’re not worthy, but please come and give the sermon at our community prayers. Give us a chance!’

Mullah agreed and went there the next Friday.  He walked to the front of the mosque after prayers and said, “Does anyone know what I’m about to tell you?”

No one dared answer, for fear of being proved foolish.
“Then,” said Mullah, “you’re all too foolish to tell.” And he walked out.

The next day the town again sent a delegation to Mullah, begging and pleading.  “We’ll try to do better, Mullah! Please come again!”

The next Friday the same thing happened.  Mullah walked to the front of the mosque after prayers and asked, “Does anyone know what I’m about to tell you?”

This time, as if choreographed, everyone responded at once. “Yes! We know!”

“Then there’s no point in telling you.” said Mullah, and he walked out again.

As you might guess, another day, another delegation, more bowing and scraping. “Just one more chance, Mullah! We promise!”

Again the following week, the same scene, the same question. This time half the crowd yelled out, “Some of us know!” and the other half responded “And some of us don’t!”

“So,” said Mullah, “Let those who know tell those who don’t!” And he walked out a third time.

Now I’ve heard it told that many years later, Mullah happened to be traveling again near the town of foolish people, and he noticed that it just happened to be Friday, around noon. “I think i’ll go see how they’re getting on,” said Mullah to himself.

As he entered the mosque, prayers were over, but it looked as if everyone was waiting for something. He muttered to himself, “Oh…why not!” and walked to the front.

“Does anyone know what I’m about to tell you?” he asked.

At this point, everyone in the mosque stood up and walked out, leaving Mullah standing alone.

This story mirrors one view of the journey of our inner self. As we begin the spiritual path, we’re in denial that we even have a voice of guidance within us.  We’re waiting for someone outside to illuminate us. Then we swing to the other extreme and think we know everything.  When our inner life finally wakes up, the part of us that knows is able to speak to the part of us that doesn’t know (Mullah’s third solution). Our higher guidance is able to speak to our nafs (loosely translated as ego), and the various voices of the inner self can gather together and work as one.  Once this happens, it’s just a matter of staying on the path and allowing our hearts to continue to grow.  At the end, when Mullah returns, he finds that the “answer” to his question is absence. The small self, beyond affirmation and denial, has merged with the Self of the Beloved.

(p 273-274).

*           *            *

Today is a funny day.  It’s been building for weeks, I can see it in my previous posts.  Voices that I thought had become silent suddenly got a microphone.  Started soft and then by last night were blaring trumpets.  This strange conflict inside myself.  One voice, angry and frustrated, asking the other voice, full of sadness and pain, WHY ARE YOU HERE AGAIN?

And amidst all that confusion, another voice that knows something, tells the voices that don’t: be patient!  And suddenly, a flash of peace.  Then energy that is stuck in the battle is released to my heart.

Right now I’m in Mullah Nasruddin’s third solution, as I discover and bring to light fragments of voices inside my self.  trying to create coherence amongst all the voices is a paradox in some ways, and in other ways it is the path to becoming one and uniting with the divine inside of me.  Right when you think you’ve figured out something, is when you realize you’ve figured out nothing! hah! how funny is this mystery of life 🙂

 

un-certain/un-certainty October 1, 2011

Filed under: spirituality,Uncategorized — yogini786 @ 7:25 pm

words are so funny.  once you break them up.  once you say them over and over.  they become nothing.  and yet they mean something.

un-derstanding, un-attached, un-dermined, un-cle (hah!), un-certain/un-certainty.

what is it to be un, to be without?  what is it to be empty and how is it the same or different from being without. and what does it mean/feel to be uncertain, to be without certainty.

I just know that nothing seems certain anymore, and I keep on re-parenting myself.  My mantra, Aisha, its going to be ok. don’t worry about what you don’t know.  just let the uncertainty be and you will be fine.

As children our feelings of uncertainty, our questions, the strings of why’s we start to ask our parents or adults in our lives, are only satisfied with answers that are certain.  Who am I?  You are a girl, you are my daughter, you are my sister, you are a Pakistani, you are strange, you are ugly, you are pretty, you are short, you are tall, you are argumentative, you are angry, you are zen, you are…

and yet I am none of those things.  I am perhaps only conclusively uncertain about who I am.

Then there is a deeper knowing, that forgets about the illusion of uncertainty that dictates my minds anxieties, that allows me to consider and believe that everything is exactly as it should be in this moment.  that even this uncertainty is of value and nothing I need to run or hide from.  Instead what I practice to do is to accept being without certainty about my past, present and future.

The seed mantras of the chakras work as antidotes to my uncertainty, perhaps that is the science of cleansing myself of anxiety.

I am

I feel

I can

I love

I speak

I see

I live

and for me the aura’s mantra is I am free.

I am free, free to define and redefine, to be certain and then un-certain, to be a walking contradiction.  who said that I have to fit or piece myself together?  i’m certain that I will never be entirely without doubt and fear, yet I’d rather know and accept those voices inside of me, than to push them under some figurative rug of certainty.

i’m uncertain where this is going, but so be it!  so uncomfortable for me to not make sense of everything.  so difficult to accept that there will always be uncertainty.  and that the best tools i have are my breathe, the present moment, and my faith of living in a benevolent uni/multi -verse that is holding and supporting me.

Thought Sketches \”Un-certain\” – Shriya Malhotra

ps – i invite others to share whatever they connect to the word(s) un-certain/un-certainty