Karachi Yogini

Yoga for Life!

commit.ment April 18, 2012

Filed under: Islam/Sufism,spirituality,Yoga Class,Yoga In Karachi — yogini786 @ 9:26 pm

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Commitment

its almost the middle of 2012.  its a day before my 30 day mark in my 365 day yoga personal practice challenge I have committed to myself and its been a little more than 2 months since I brought the love of my life, pepper, a mixed breed, oversized, puppy into my life.

I have grown up a lot it seems in 2012.  And its funny, how I thought I could make commitments before, and now how after being scared and fearful of anything that I could attach to: job, city, friends, relationships, activities, I am finally ready to commit.  Not to what we usually think about. Not a relationship with someone I love or someone I want to marry (in my communities those two don’t necessarily correlate).

So then what am I committing to?  I don’t know how to put words to the tangible aspects but psychologically, emotionally, spiritually and economically I am committing to being a full adult.   And as an adult will I need help, love, friendship, support among other must haves like chips, chocolate, laughing, beach days, my laptop, phone etc?  YES, I will plus more!

Committing to being an adult is strange since everyone (including me not so long a go) assumes that age is the way to gauge our adult status.  But I guess i’ve come up with some things that are part of my commit.ment to being an adult.

– I can and will support my self financially because I have the capacity and time and opportunity to do it.

– I can and will be responsible for my well-being and safety and not blame others for when I fall, hurt, and break (physically, spiritually, emotionally, mentally).

– I will always live with my truth, sometimes its glaringly uncomfortable, other times overwhelmingly wise.  I accept that I exist in this shifting pendulum of life of which I do not control much, if at all.

– I am always going to feel butterflies in my stomach and have a heart made of soft squishy putty when it comes to emotionally unavailable intelligent artistic men.

– I am never going to be completely serious. or perfect. or anything.  I am just going to be here living it up with gratitude as much as I can.

– I know now that I have a lot to offer.  I believe in the dreams I have for myself and the communities I live in/with (including the biggest jungle of them all, with my adult survivor kit handy: LIFE IN KARACHI!)

– I will sing & dance!

So thank you all, many of you have helped me reach this critical point in my journey.  I have faith and courage.  And I have fear & anxiety.  All are ok.  All are impermanent.  But my life seems less like a dream and more like the perfect gift for a 30 something soul searching yogini.